Mortality

Many of us go through our daily lives without regard for death, without regard for tragedy. Now there are times when it is slapped in our faces and we are unable to hide from its sting. However, in this wonderful country, it is not something that is a routine part of our lives. We may see a television show where people are tourtured or shot, we may read in the paper about soilders dying in Iraq, or we may even hear about the death of a friends', distant relative. But it is rarely personal.

At a young age I had to face the reality of close, personal death. My dad died (along with my Grandparents) when I was 11 years old. Three people in my family died in one week. Since that time I have been somewhat aware of how suddenly tragedy can strike, forever altering your "normalcy."

When I was a ICU nurse, I also had to face the reality of death. One person would die in our unit almost every day. Yet, to cope I rationalized this as rare and a result of unfair sickness. I became able to turn on and off my emotions about death. When my husbands grandfather died, the Lord revealed this to me. I was able to cry for a short time but then felt the need to "move on" with life by that evening...it was the switch.

My new job also deals with death but it happens much more than before. My position now depends on the fact that tragedy will happen and someone will die as a result. Last week I went to a call-center where all the hospital deaths from three to five (I can't remember the exact number) states are reported. At the end of the day, there is an exact number of all the people that died that day. As I reviewed the list for that day, the ages ranged from 4 to 89 years of age. I start to imagine what theses people's lives were like in the last 6 months. Were they sick? Did they even anticipate that they would no longer be alive as I write this blog? How did they live their last days?

I know this is morbid and not really good to dwell on but I have to believe that God is trying to tell me something through the midst of all the death. It is depressing, it is sad and when someone we love dies it feels unique. However, as I consider the number of people that died today, even just in the sphere of Donor Alliance, death seems common. We are all mortal. Eventually we are all going to be a name on that list. Death seems so scary to some (even me at times) and in the distance--far, far away. Nevertheless, someone alive right now might not know that they will be gone next week...it could or could not be me or you. This reality has shaken my perception of life. I to do my best to love God and know Him so that if it is me, I will not be ashamed when I arrive to heaven. I want to appreciate the little boring moments of life, the traffic jams, the long work days because they are all to quickly snatched away and cannot be redone. You never know when your "normalcy" can be obliterated.

Live for the Lord and commit your way to Him.
Trust Him. Know Him. Do His will.

I am so thankful that death is not the end...
I am thankful for my Savior.