A Rollercoaster???

My job often requires that I travel throughout the states of Colorado and Wyoming to different hospitals. Most times we drive but since Grand Junction is about 4-5 hours from Denver and time is of the essence in organ donation, we have to fly.

Sound's glamorous doesn't it?

Not when you {loathe, hate, detest} dislike flying...

You see, something happened to me between the age of 20-25. Not only did I get married, graduated from college, start my career, and become a {dog} mom but I developed a very {rational} embarrassing fear of flying. I don't know when or how I developed this new quality but David is quite aware as I always have a death grip on his hand as we fly to various destinations. Even the slightest jolt sends me into convulsions because I am certain that the plane is about to plunge nose first into the ground.

When I think about it rationally, I know the statistics of me dying in a car crash is much higher than in a plane but it doesn't seem to help when I am actually up in the air.

Nevertheless, I must fly for my job and I must keep it all together. This week I experienced my first and second fly-out. Here is a picture of us me and my co-workers before the flight...

Obviously I survived since I am writing this post but it was not without a few pesky anxiety attacks. Before take-off I warned them all that I could, at any moment, feel the need to grab their hand with my notorious death-grip. They were very understanding as we took off in the little tin can with wings. Most of the flight was spent convincing me of what each bump and alarm noise meant as I did Lamaze breathing. hee, hee, whoooo, hee, hee, whooo...

24 hours later I was on my way home and the cab driver from the hospital to the airport told me to "pretend it's a roller coaster" during all the drops. I am sorry Mr. Cab-driver but there are a few differences between planes suspended thousands of feet up in the sky and roller coasters that are on tracks, bolted to the ground and inspected daily.

And between me and you, I also HATE roller coasters so his advice really didn't give me the warm fuzzies.

Like I said earlier, this week was not only my first fly-out but my second. What did I learn from these experiences? My fears may be a little bit unhealthy. The Lord is obviously trying to help understand that this is an area in which I haven't trusted Him. God is good that way, He is always teaching us. This may sound cliche but I realized I am afraid of is dying in a plane crash.

I don't want to die... and often times I feel more in control when have the illusion of control. When I am driving the car, I feel like I can prevent the crash. When I am running, I can prevent disease. But really, when it is my day to meet him, it will be my day. Whether I am in sky or sitting here writing this blog.

Hopefully this new realization will help me enjoy the next flight a little more. :)